Take A Chance On Me, I Promise I Won't Let You Down
by SofiaBirkhoff
Summary: After Birkhoff was saved from Amanda's clutches, he gets back at the safe house and tries to recover. But being silent for so long, is it really the right way to recovery? Would a little help, actually help? Or will Birkhoff just plunge into depression, and maybe even worse? Who will be his gardien angel out there? Who Will Save Him From Himself?
1. Chapter 1 : Memories

**Okay, here we go i guess. Please take into acount that i am half-french, and i learned all my englsih from reading and speaking with my family, so there may be a bit of mistakes and sentece that may sound weird, i do apologize for that. If you could point them out to me, you would be adorable, and i thank you very much :D**

**I do really hope this gets some reviews, becase it would help me grow into a better writter and since i probably want to publish something later on, i seriously need all the advice i cant get. even if the critic is bad i don't care, there is always something to learn from it.**

**Whatever, just, enjoy ;D**

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"He is going to need some rest Alex. Amanda crushed his hand" Said Nikita in a serious tone. The young woman though to herself for a minute before making eye contact with her mentor again.

"Then let me stay with him. I'll take care of him" Nikita hesitated. Not because of the good will Alex was acting with, but something seemed off with the young woman lately.

"It's Birkhoff, other than an energy drink, a computer and video games I doubt he will actually need you" Alex giggled a bit at Nikita's try at a joke. Sure, it was definitely not the right moment, time or circumstances. But Birkhoff will after all, always be Birkhoff. And even Amanda couldn't change that.

"No matter what happens, you will always go back for him; won't you?" Nikita felt she hit the soft spot. For a moment, Alex just stood there, her mouth open in an O shape before she started sobbing. Warm salty tears invaded her eyes and for a second, the worst thoughts crossed her mind.

"He's going to be ok? Right? He will get through this?" She almost yelled between her sobs. Nikita didn't say a thing and just moved out of the door frame. Alex walked in with, little, shy steps; she glanced around the room and there he was. She was afraid to think it, but he looked dead. His face was pale, a gauntness had installed itself on his already rather small and thin body and big bruises were still visible even after the two weeks he spent resting here after they had rescued him. What if he never recovered? What if.. Amanda broke him? From the inside? Alex shook her head, trying to wipe away all the bad outcomes that might occur and painted a reassuring smile on her lips as she walked towards the man. He was sitting on the couch, his eyes staring through the big living-room glass window. Alex sat at his right, and just accompanied him, fixing the same point as he was. A leaf. She threw a glance at him to see if he was reacting to anything. But no, nothing. He looked empty. She stared at him for a minute, and since he didn't move, nor speak, she decided to just stay by him, in silence.

After an hour, Alex grew fed up of the silence treatment Birkhoff was giving her. She was useless. And most probably, her being next to him didn't help at all. It may even make everything worse. She sighed heavily before beginning to get up. She was stopped in her movement by a hand, gripping tightly her forearm. She turned toward the broken man, and for the first time since he got back, they made eye contact. The pain and sadness she was in his eyes shot her. She saw awful things in her life, but never she saw someone as broken as the small man was today. Her eyes started burning up as she sat down again, very slowly, not letting Birkhoff out of her sight. He opened his mouth but he was out of voice. His throat was entirely dry, and his throat hurt more than he ever remembered it did. Alex gestured to him not to speak and got up. She walked to the fridge, took a can of Fueler© and brought it back to the couch. She handed it to the engineer with a little smile and he drank it. They crossed eyes again, and through all the pain and sadness, Alex saw a little spark, lighting up again. She had missed that light, oh how much she had missed his smirk, jokes and insults. Birkhoff then turned his face away, and resumed staring blankly through the window. Alex bit her lip. She had gotten her hopes up too fast. Birkhoff was still far from recovery. And maybe he will never entirely recover. On the verge of losing it, she stood up hastily and ran out of the room. In a movement of despair, she let herself fall on the floor and started crying.

Nikita walked past the young woman's room and heard her sob continuously. She frowned, worried of what was causing Alex's sadness. She tried opening the bedroom's door, but as she saw it was locked and not moving an inch, she went downstairs and entered the big living-room. Birkhoff was still there, right where Alex left him, still staring at his window. Nikita sighed and approached him softly.

"Hey nerd" She could have sworn she saw him twitch at the sound of his nickname. "What happened with Alex?" Birkhoff stayed silent for a moment more, before motioning that nothing actually happened. "I know her Birkhoff, she's strong, she doesn't cry for nothing." Nikita insisted, placing herself in front of the man's vision. They stayed like this, staring at each other for a couple minutes until, with a weak, crumbling voice, Birkhoff whispered : "I need time" Nikita softened her gaze and sat down in front of him. She took his hand in hers and stroke at a comforting pace. "Just… Don't be too long. For Alex." She said. She gave him one last smile of encouragement, got up again and left the room.

Memories stormed in Birkhoff already tired mind. He remembered every second with her. From the very first day she got to Division as a recruit. The day she half annoyed him by saying he was intelligent would always be his favorite.

* * *

_"Thanks again for helping me with that phone hack"_

_"What? … Whatever"_

_"The workaround you figured out is genius"_

_"Yeah, yeah. I am very brilliant. Now move."_

* * *

He will always remember. This was their actual first ever real conversation that lasted more than two sentences. And he had to admit, being called a genius was always something good to hear from a girl. From anyone actually, it was good to hear. A half smile came shyly on his lips for a few seconds. Their time at division together had been pretty harsh, but in a way, he always enjoyed her company. His heart twinged when he remembered 'Mission Oculus'

* * *

_"Your assignment is… Dustin Zimmer" He bend forward towards the screen and stared at the young man's picture. "This website is going to spit you out as a match."_

_"How do I know he will get in touch with me?" Alex asked, frowning Birkhoff glared at here. He sized here up before turning his head back to his computer. "Please" He muttered. He couldn't see it, but Alex's lips stretched into a smile, and she chuckled a little bit._

* * *

He remembered every single word they exchanged. He cherished every smile she offered him. He moved from his sitting position so his could lie down. A wild and bitter pain came crawling in his back and he just fell flat on the pillows. He groaned before turning on his side and closing his eyes. A few moments later, he was asleep.

* * *

After a few days of total silence again, Birkhoff disappeared. Alex walked in the living room, but it was empty. She gasped for air as she felt herself panic. He never left this room. Never. She what happened to him? She began running around the house, yelling his name. Without even realizing it, she started tearing up again. She wiped her cheeks clean and ignored the cold feeling of water on her fingers. Nikita and Michael out for the day on a mission made it impossible for her to ask for help. Drifting through the corridors, she opened every door she came across and searched every corner for the man. Her pulse war rising fast as she realized she hadn't found him anywhere but looked everywhere. Out of breath she stopped in the big living room again, and, desperate, stared at the spot where he was usually sitting. As if looking hard enough was going to make him come back, appear magically right before her eyes, and everything would be okay. But she had lost him… In a last attempt, she opened the door leading to this floor's bathroom and glanced inside. It was dark, a humid breeze came out as the air battled to get out of the little room and she felt it rub against her face, drying up instantly the tears that had rolled on her cheeks again. For some odd reason, the light wasn't working, and after trying a few times to switch it on, Alex abandoned her crusade for the light and just stared in the dark, to let her eyes adapt to the lighting. She stressed up, thinking her eyes weren't working fast enough and concentrated even more on what she was looking at. After a few seconds, she could finally see it. Lying on the floor, motionless. Her stomach turned ad she covered her mouth with her hand and exhaled loudly. She shrieked and threw herself next to him.

"BIRKHOFF!" She shouted, shaking him to wake him up. Seeing no reaction for the body, she looked around in hope of finding the reason of his collapse. A few feet away, after scavenging through the room, she saw a small plastic bottle. She reached for it and brought it up to her eyes.

"Morphine" She whispered as she read the little white information paper. She panicked. If even it was humanly possible to be more panicked then she already was. She ran back to the kitchen and mixed a small bit of water with vinegar and lemon juice. "This should do the trick" she muttered before going back to the bathroom. She lifted Birkhoff's head and sat behind him to maintain him up. She hastily opened his mouth and forced him to drink the beverage. She waited a few seconds, which seemed like an eternity for her, hoping he would open his eyes, gasp for help and come back to her. Suddenly, he started coughing and bent over to try to catch his breath. He reached for the sink and threw up the content of his stomach in a growl. Alex came behind him, relieved as she could ever be, put a comforting hand on his shoulder and helped him. After he calmed down, he turned and faced the young lady.

"I hate lemon" He spat out of anger.

"I know" Answered Alex with a very relieved tone. She half smiled at the small man, even if he was still taller than her, and got closer to him. She hesitated a second that hugged him. Birkhoff, surprised and token out of his comfort zone, just stood there, not sure what to do. Then, finally, with shaky hands, he closed his arms behind her back and rested his head on her shoulder.

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Well, i definitely hope you liked it, i will, of course, do many more chapter, no worries. if a few of you could give me a review, i woul dbe delighted, but if you don't, just... Whatever, you don't absolutely have to, but it'll be nice if you do :D


	2. Chapter 2 : Maybe?

***A rather short chapter for this one. But fo the story "plot" (or whatever you want to call it) it was more logical to stop here than later. So yeah, still hope you like it. I was a few people putting this is their favs or following. THANK YOU SO MUCH ! I never thought this little story would get any kind of attention... Will be adding the other one in a short period :)**

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"Don't you ever pull a stunt like that on me again. Ever again. Do you hear me Birkhoff?" Alex sobbed in the man's neck. He didn't know if he could give her an answer at this very moment, he could certainly not promise her anything, so he just tightened his embrace to show her that he was hearing her.

They parted and Alex hesitated about talking to him. She had to know what happened. Deep down, she knew what he did. But at the surface, she was convincing herself that all this was an accident, a miss interpretation of elements that occurred at the same moment. She hoped that Birkhoff took the last Morphine pill because he was really in pain, not because of any other reason. And he collapsed because he hasn't been eating for the past three weeks. But deep, in the dark cave of her chest, she knew in her heart, what happened had nothing of an accident. She brushed away the tears that were falling down her eyelashes and plunged her eyes into the man's.

"Why would you ever do something like this?" She whispered as she took a step back. At this moment, the Birkhoff she had in front of her was not the one she used to know. The Birkhoff she knew, the Birkhoff she knows, the real Birkhoff was strong. Stubborn, genius, cocky, narcissistic, he was the type of guy that didn't know what to do with his feeling, so he just hid them away in one of his mind's hideouts and just ignored them. It was the first time she actually saw him cry. A tear streamed down the man's face and with an angry gesture, he wiped it off and tightened his jaw.

"Please… Just don't." He begged in a shaky voice.

"No Birkhoff. I need to know. Did you really think it was going to make everything better?" She said, putting a hand on his chest. She fought the tears that were trying to invade her eyes. Gosh she had never cried so much in such a short time. She took a deep breath, and Birkhoff not answering, she continued.

"Did you ever think, at one point, that we would be devastated?" She raised her voice. "Didn't you think about the pain it would have brought us?" She clenched her teeth before exhaling heavily. "Birkhoff, just explain me why…" She pleaded her too, hating herself for not being strong enough around the man. Birkhoff just stared at her, like if she wasn't there. Or transparent, it looked like he was gazing through her. Her hand slowly descended Birkhoff's chest before she finally took it off. He didn't give any other sign of life other than his chest, lifting up slowly as he took inside his lungs the air he needed. She clutched her fist, threw a quick look at the floor before going back to the man's dark eyes.

"If that is so…"She murmured.

She walked fast to the mirror and punched it once. It cracked a bit, but for her, it wasn't enough. She went back for it, and threw a second punch. A third and finally a fourth before the shinny glass parts fell to the floor in a roar. Her knuckles were bleeding, but she couldn't care less. He didn't want to talk? Fine. Then she didn't have to stay utterly calm then. She could just bash the house around as the madness and rage filled her up from the tips on the toes to the top of the head. What? What was he going to do? He had been a perfect zombie for now three weeks. It's not like if Alex loosing it was going to change that. She screamed to the top of her lungs and bashed the floor with her two hands as she sent her whole body against the white tiles. Dark red spots started appearing around her. She ignored them, but the dark on the perfect pure white made Birkhoff's head turn. He glanced at the destructive young woman before grabbing her arm and leading her to the kitchen. Still full of anger, Alex fought back, but even weakened by the lack of food, Birkhoff still had the advantage. He forced her to sit in one of the island chairs before motioning he was coming back. Alex sighted. At least it worked she thought, even if she knew that what she had done was a bad decision. In her eyesight, there was, on the kitchen counter, a knife. For a second, an idea crossed her mind, but right before she could even think of getting up to fetch it, Birkhoff walked back into the room, with gaze, bandages and antiseptic. He took in a very delicate way Alex's hand and started pulling out the shattered little shards of glass. He frowned as he felt the poor woman grind her teeth at the pain she was enduring. Why would she do something like that? Hurting herself on purpose. He shook his head of disapproval when she tried to take her hand back. He held tight on her wrist and made eye contact with her. Alex discovered something new in Birkhoff's eyes at this instant. Fear. After being emotionless for almost an eternity, she finally saw some feelings come back to the man. Little by little, she found back her Birkhoff. At least, she hoped so.

"Ouch, be careful!" She groaned as he took out the last shard, the biggest of them all. He then took the antiseptic and painted her hand with it. She clenched her jaw as she felt the product boiling in her wounds.

"What went through your mind sunshine?" She heard. For a few seconds, she was mesmerized. She had forgotten how hearing this nickname coming out of those lips felt good. Felt normal… Her eyes began burning up again, but this time, she didn't want to fight the tears. After all, why destroy tear of joy? As Birkhoff carefully wrapped her hand in a bandage, she realized she had hurt the exact same hand as he did. Her right. She chuckled a bit, thinking at what Nikita would say in this instant. "You just wanted to be like him huh? Once again." She heard in her mind she older woman's laugh and made her eyes meet his once more. He still looked sad, mostly empty. But somewhere, in the depths of those black pupils, she knew a new fire lighted up. This would be what was going to bring him back to life. To them. To her.

"Birkhoff…"She started whispering.

"Shuuuush" He answered in the same voice. He took the young woman's face in her hand and leaned forward. A few seconds later, their foreheads were touching, and Birkhoff, finally, after three weeks of feeling nothing, felt his heart beating again. He inhaled deeply and they stayed, connected, flesh against flesh.

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**Hope you liked it ! Feel free to give any kind of review, it could still help me in any sort of way :)**


	3. Chapter 3 : Recovery

** HEY HEY HEY ! Yes, i am going fast ! But i ship Balex so much i just write so easily about them :3 Thanks for those very kind reviews you guyshave been giving me, it's so sweet and adorable of you :D**

**Well, there you go, Chapter 3, on a silver plate ;D**

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A few days later, Birkhoff started getting better. He was again drinking his Energy drinks all day, and was rediscovering, slowly, his love for good food. Alex walked in the big living room, turned towards the kitchen area and walked in on Birkhoff making himself a triple cheese sandwich. She smiled at him. He didn't answer. He was still very avaricious with words but he was softly warming up to taking part in conversations. Even if it was just a glare, or a smirk, for Alex, it was sign of huge improvement. He finished his toast and took it in his right hand and his Fueler© can on the other. Alex followed him to the couch and they sat together as the engineer was eating back his strength. She took the can from his hand and drank a few sip of it. She returned it at its rightful place and lingered on Birkhoff's hand. She took one of his fingers and pressed it in a friendly way before getting up to fetch an apple from the table's fruit basket.

"So, how is our favorite nerd doing today?" Nikita asked, walking in the room, very energetic, as usual. Birkhoff lifted his head up and gave her a quarter of a smile to reassure her. Alex walked up to the woman and smiled at her.

"I think he is finally starting to get better. I'm watching him closely and he seems to have taken back a bit of strength." Nikita smiled back. She was happy too that Birkhoff was turning around the corner and looking to a brighter tomorrow. She had to admit, if he wouldn't be there anymore, what would they have done? Lost, that's what they would have been. She turned her eyes back to the young woman and looked at her seriously. She pointed to Alex's right hand, still bandaged and asked with an eyebrow rising up:

"You never actually told me what happened." Birkhoff stopped eating for a second, waiting for Alex's answer. He silently prayed she wouldn't say anything. He could deal with Alex being worried sick about him, but with three people preoccupied, he wasn't so sure how he would handle it. Alex swallowed her saliva and improvised.

"Oh that? Nothing, really. I was showering and some water spread on the bathroom floor. When I got out, I slipped and knocked the mirror down. Nothing to worry about, really." She gave Nikita a bit of a forced smile, hoping her mentor wouldn't notice anything. Automatically, her eyes went to Birkhoff, sitting in his sofa. They exchanged a glance and went back to their occupation. Alex finished her apple under Nikita's concerned pupils. She then threw the core of the fruit in the bin before she walked out of the big room. Nikita approached Birkhoff and sat next to him in front of the big plasma TV. There was some channel going on about world news, which were, as always, really intelligently made cover-ups for everything. She put a hand on Birkhoff's knee and turning to him.

"What happened to Alex's hand?" She asked with a threatening look. Birkhoff hesitated a minute. Was he supposed to say the truth? The truth of how Alex lost it when he tried to suicide? No. He shouldn't, he thought. Nikita and Michael should never know about this.

"I'm not entirely sure. I was asleep when it happened. I just helped her take care of it after" He answered with a soft voice. He had been silent for so long, listening to his own voice was feeling weird. He turned back to the screen, changed the channel, and then turned back to Nikita, who hadn't moved an inch.

"Could you call Alex? I need a partner for videogames."

"Sure Nerd" Nikita replied. She got up, patted his shoulder in a gentle way and walked out of the room. He followed the young woman's figure until she was out of sight and exhaled. He didn't even realize he had kept his breath all this time. Birkhoff closed his eyes and let his mind wonder, listening to the pounding of the rain at the window. Thunder rumbled in the back and he leaned back in the couch. The rain poured faster as the thunder got closer. Birkhoff opened his eye and looked through the window. A little smile painted his lips as he saw Alex come running inside and shake all the water off her. He heard her talk with Nikita, and few seconds later, she came into the room, bearing a smile on her face. He waved and she got closer. He joyfully pat the pillow next to him and the young woman sad down, happy.

"So, what should we play?" She giggled as she took the videogames boxes from the table in front of her and starting looking at them.

"Just take a pick" Said the man, switching on the console.

* * *

They played for a few hours, waiting for the storm to pass by. But the rain wouldn't go away, and the thunderbolts were getting bigger and bigger each minute. In the middle of a game, where Alex was, for once, winning, power shot down. It's was darkness. Complete utterly darkness. Alex screamed of anger when she couldn't finish Birkhoff off and threw the controller at the engineer.

"Hey! What was that for?" He whined in a laugh. His typical Birkhoff laugh. She took a minute to answer, enjoying the moment. She heard it ring in her ears for an instant before turning to him and laughing it off.

"This place is supposed to be Fort Knox no? How would you work if the power shuts down?" She asked with a mischievous glare.

"Heh, I don't work when there's no power. Duh…" He answered with an ironic voice.

They exchanged a glance and burst out laughing like little kids. For a few seconds, Birkhoff forgot it all. The pain, the sadness, the melancholy… All had been whipped away by the tingling feeling he had in his stomach when he heard her giggle. He smirked and thought about what he had done. He had been selfish. Genuinely more selfish that he had ever been in his whole life. Sure, he was very narcissistic and egotistical on a daily basis but what he thought of doing. What he almost had done. Like Alex said, how could he have ever thought that it would have made anything better? He decided to turn a blind eye to what he had done, and forget everything about it. As of now, he knew that the most important thing he had to do was to get better, whatever the cost it had. For him, for them and for her.

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**Hope you guys liked it :) I thought, after doing two very sad, i should bring back a bit of a smile on everybody's face :D Plus, now, i can get to the very adorable part of their relationship, you'll seen what i mean next time ;D**

**For the moment, Ciao, see you soon :3**


	4. Chapter 4 : Is this?

**Okay, i am seriously not that happy with this chapter. Just because i hate the end. I want them to be together so baddddddddddd. But heh, i need to write a good story, so i'll make them linger for each other a bit more before things actually happen. I guess... **

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Alex woke up with a sore back. She stretched a bit and got up. She threw a glance around her and it's only after a few seconds that she realized she wasn't in her room. She batted her eyelashes with surprise when she realized she had slept on the couch, with Birkhoff. She frowned, trying to remember the evening. They played videogames. And there was the thunderstorm outside.

"Oh right, the power cut" She whispered. She knelled next to the sofa and laid her head on the pillow next to the engineer. She sighed and smiled as the closed her eyes once again.

The two young adults woke up again later. Birkhoff first and Alex a few minutes later. He rubbed his face before walking to the sink. Poured a glass of water and brought it back to Alex. She drank it and smiled as thanks. No words were spoken, and Alex went upstairs to take a shower. She stepped under and shivered when she felt the hot water stream down her back. She closed her eyes and concentrated on relaxing. Her shoulders flinched from being stuck in the same uncomfortable position all night and so she rolled them, in hope of reliving them of the tension.

Downstairs, Michael had just arrived when Birkhoff stepped out of the living room. They bumped into each other, and after some sleepy excuses, both walked to the kitchen counter.

"So, how are you doing?" Michael asked.

"Pretty good. I guess." Birkhoff answered as he took an energy drink in the fridge.

"I seemed to realize that you and Alex are getting closer lately. She's been of a big help in your recovery." Michael continued, seemingly having an idea being his thoughts.

"You could put it like that yeah." Birkhoff let a shy smile escape before walking out of the room. He entered the bathroom and prepared himself a good warm bath.

Alex got out of the shower, feeling good and calm. She went all the way to her room, dressed and went back downstairs. She walked all the way to the kitchen and saw Michael taking his breakfast. She smiled to him and made herself a bowl of cereals. She sat in front of the man and began eating slowly.

* * *

Several days passed without anything spectacular happening. Amanda was laying low and nothing new was heard of Percy. The team started enjoying being some less what normal, and Birkhoff was feeling better every day with his friends around. Alex was spending almost all her awaking moments with him. And she even became pretty good at videogames.

"Sunshine!" Birkhoff yelled from downstairs one morning. Alex opened very slowly her eyes, taken out brutally out of her dreams. She stretched a bit, left her amazingly soft bed and opened her bedroom door. And there he was. Looking at her with a little smirk. She smiled as their eyes met and giggled a bit when she saw he was holding the two controllers.

"But, Birkhoff, it's like…" She stopped not knowing actually which time it was. She turned and glanced at her clock on her nightstand. "10:30 am." She finished. She frowned and realized how stupid what she said sounded. "Okay, let's go!" She laughed. She ignored the fact that she was in underwear, her sleeping attire, and just walked downstairs after taking a controller from the young man's hand. She sat on the couch, switched on the console and inserted the game's CD. She leaned back, waiting for Birkhoff to come and sit with her. But he was far away. Birkhoff never actually saw the woman with such little clothes on. He didn't even see her in a swimsuit before. He came down the stairs really slowly, reviewing what he just had seen in his mind countless time. He was wondering, did she do in on purpose, because she was lazy to fetch clothes, or did she just forget about it? He smirked as he saw her hair falling down the back of the couch. He loved her long brown hair. It was beautiful. The curls were catching the morning sunlight in such a way that he was speechless when he sat next to her. He enabled his controller and they started playing. They laughed and screamed as soon as the competition toughened, ready to fight each other all day. All the way over the other side of the house, Nikita and Michael were slowly waking up.

"Is that Birkhoff and Alex?" Nikita asked with a sleepy voice.

"Sounds like them. Why are they playing so early in the morning?" He frowned, hearing the young adult's distant shouts through the huge beach house.

"I don't know, just, let them be. They're becoming best friends, it's great!" Smiled Nikita before closing her eyes and laying her head against the soft pillow.

"Oh, best friends? That's what you think is going on here?" Michael jumped. He sat strait on the bed and pushed the cover away from him. "You think they are becoming just 'Best-Friends'?" He said louder, with a tingle of anger in the voice.

"What's wrong Michael? They both went through hell, just like we did. We had the chance to find each other, if they feel good with the other, why shouldn't they be?" Nikita explained calmly. She got up and leaned against the wall.

"I get your point Nikita, but what about Amanda, Division? And, god forbids, Percy?" Michael continued on a worried tone.

"Well, they are both out of Division. Alex is just there to find Semak, so I think that for the moment, there is no problem with them getting closer. Why wouldn't want them to be together?" Nikita questioned.

"It's Birkhoff… And Alex… Since when do they even bear each other's presence?" Michael asked, now very confused about the whole thing.

"Michael, they always were friends. Even when she was a recruit, I knew they were friends. Birkhoff may have been cold with her, but he was still following Percy at that time. And you know the rule of no relation between coworkers. I'm sure he just didn't want her to get cancelled, nor himself." Nikita approached her man and took his hand in hers. "Don't worry, everything will be fine!" She smiled and leaned in for a kiss.

* * *

"Is this?" Alex asked, pausing the game.

"Is this what I think you're thinking it is?" Continued Birkhoff, with the same chocked face Alex was bearing.

"Am I thinking what you are thinking about what I am thinking?" She continued with a smirk. They both turned towards the provenance of the sounds and stared for a second at the door. They turned in front of each other and exchanged a glance. Alex bit her lip while Birkhoff choked on a giggle.

"OH MY GOD!" Alex yelled.

That's it; they couldn't hold it any longer. They burst out laughing, so loud that the two other may even hear them. They laughed so hard that after ten minutes, Alex started having stomach cramps and Birkhoff fell of the couch. Alex wiped the tears off her eyes and joined the engineer on the floor. Birkhoff threw her a mischievous glare and after a few seconds of staying immobile, he jumped on the young woman. He started tickling her, and she began screaming for mercy.

"Birkhoff, please, come on, stopppppppp" Alex laughed, out of breath. She turned her head towards the man and when their eyesight crossed, they froze in complete synchronization. Alex never actually paid so much attention to how beautiful his eyes were, and she was breath taken at this very moment. It felt like time had stopped; or as if they were in a spatiotemporal rift and nothing could ever affect them. She felt so good against the man. Through his thin cotton shirt, she was able to feel his body heat and it was enough for her to no shiver, even against the cold wooden floor. Without even realizing it, their head moved closer and they were now only a few inches away from each other. Birkhoff's heart skipped a beat. Then it panicked and rushed so fast Birkhoff had a hard time feeling it. He exhaled heavily and closed his eyes. Unconsciously, he bit his lip. Alex was still staring at him, and didn't miss this little Intel. She freaked out. She moved to the side, pushed Birkhoff away and got up on the sofa again. The engineer clenched his fist and shook his head, disappointed of how the situation turned out. Why did he have to try to kiss her? He insulted himself in his mind. Now things were never going to be the same! He gritted his teeth and joined the young lady on the sofa. They continued their match like nothing ever happened…

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**WHYYYY WHYY WHY ?! Why do i torture myself in writing sad stuffffffffff? Seriously, i have no idea why. But i enjoy so much writing about them :3**


	5. Chapter 5 : Opp

**MWWAAAAAAH DEFINITELY MY FAVOURITE CHAPTER EVEEEEEEERRRRRR**

**Little detail : For optimum experience, when it says "Back at the Beach Mansion" Put "Cosmic Love" By Folrence and the Machine in the backgound. This music just fists so well will the moment.**

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Birkhoff was in a deep nap when a piercing sound suddenly started yelling in the background. He raised his head from the couch and moaned. The engineer got up and walked to the sound source, his computer, and sat in from in the big leather chair. On the screen was flashing a red warning sign.

"What?" He murdered, staring blankly at the monitor. He clicked on a few things, tipped a few words on the keyboard and exhaled. He started reading what had come up on the screen with a surprised look. He turned and made his chair slide to the fridge, took a can of Fueler© and went back in front of the screen. He finished reading the Intel while drinking the energy drink and got up hastily before walking upstairs. He came back a second later, Nikita and Alex following him.

"Amanda just enabled a new mission." He said, sitting down on his chair again.

"What? Now? That doesn't make any sense." Alex frowned. She crossed her arm in from of her chest and leaned a bit towards the screen. "In St-Petersburg? What's in St-Petersburg?" She asked.

"Apparently, a scientist who just discovered a power source much more powerful than atomic bombs." Birkhoff explained. He smirked and brought up the picture of the old man. "Meet Jacovich Alexeyev, Medical Laboratory Science Genius."

"And Amanda wants the compound?" Nikita asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Apparently yes. The swat and retrieving team just got dispatched. Oh, and look who's with them Alex…" Birkhoff chuckled then scowled when he opened the agent's profile. "Your favorite friend, Sean Pierce." He mumbled something imperceptible before going back to typing different codes and various passwords around the network. Nikita walked away and began assembling a machine gun. She took a different muzzle and screwed it on the barrel while looking at the wall with an empty eye. She loaded it and held her finger on the trigger for a second.

"Put us on the first flight to St-Petersburg. We need to get to the power source before Division can take a hold of it." Nikita said, dead serious.

"Already done." Birkhoff praised himself and continued typing on the keyboard.

* * *

_St-Petersburg, Russia._

"So? What's the deal with you and Birkhoff?" Nikita Asked as they were making their way through the vents of the secure facility.

"What do you mean?" Alex frowned. Were they that obvious?

"Well… A minute ago, you two were like, the best friends ever, and now, it's cold as ice. What happened?" Nikita explained. She turned her face towards the young woman and waited for her answer. Alex hesitated a second, sat on the floor or the air vent and mumbled.

"He… Tried to kiss me…" She exhaled loudly, as if it was a huge burden just token off her shoulder, which it was, in a way. She evaded Nikita when the woman tried to make eye contact with her and bit her lip.

"And? Why is that wrong?" Nikita asked, with a reassuring tone.

"I… I don't know. It's not that I don't want to, it's just… I'm scared." Alex confessed to her mentor. She them clenched her jaw and grind her teeth. "Nikita, this is not the moment, we'll talk at home." Alex brushed the conversation away and passed Nikita, going back to the initial mission plan. Both women fell down a ventilation trap, into a huge office. Alex looked around, depicting the place. There was a huge double door to enter, with two glass windows open to the city. The big and old wooden desk was standing in the middle of the room, bookcases and filling cabinets were dispatched around the room, containing millions of different files and books. The two women ran to different cabinets and started scavenging through the different craft paper files. Alex stumbled on one called "Project Green Blast", she took the folder out and opened it on the desk.

"Is that what we're looking for?" She asked Nikita. The eldest approached and read a few papers.

"Yes, that's it. The Arch Reactor should be in the laboratory under us according to this blueprint of the facility. Let's go." Nikita checked the load on her gun, grabbed all the papers and shoved them in the back of her jeans. The two ladies walked to the big door and posted themselves on each side of it. Nikita peeked through the window part of the door quickly before hiding again.

"Okay, two guards at the end of the corridor. The Elevator is on our right. Silencer on, you take one, I take the other."

"Got it." Alex answered simply. Nikita mimed a countdown and opened the door. Alex aimed at the guard on the right and pulled the trigger. There was a faint sound, the groan of the guard and the body falling on the floor with a muffled noise. The two women walked to the elevator and opened the doors. The gap was huge to the next steel pillar. Nikita jumped first, and then let herself slide down to the level under her. Alex gasped, closed her eyes a second and followed her mentor's path. She grabbed the steel pole with a shaky hand and pulled her body against it. She panicked for a second, feeling her finger slip on the smooth surface.

"Alex, there is an angle to your left, it will stabilize you." She heard in her ear. She did what she was told and once she felt secure, raised her head to look for a security camera in the elevator shaft. There was one, just on top of her, in the right corner. She gave a faint smile and began her descent towards the lower level.

"Thanks Birkhoff."She whispered as she gained the safe platform where Nikita was waiting for her. She smiled, imagining Birkhoff's expression of relief, and followed the eldest to the next floor. They got out in the corridor, securing their path as they advanced. The laboratory was just in front, after a set of big white secure doors. Alex frowned when she realized there was a password key to enter.

"Birkhoff, there is an encrypted password thingy. Can you do something about it?" She asked as she brought her hand to her ear to enable the communication.

"How far are you to the door?" The tech asked. Alex could hear the clicking of the keyboard in the distant background and it stole a smile from her lips. What wouldn't she give to be next to him at this very moment?

"300 feet maybe. Not very far, and we're moving fast." She answered, sizing up the distance between her and the white door.

"It'll be done when you get there." Birkhoff said, before cutting the communication again and focusing on the code hacking. In a few second, he was in the security system of the facility, and breaking the laboratory code. He had on one screen, the surveillance camera feed from the facility, and was watching in the corner of his eye Alex and Nikita, carefully making their way to the big white door. They reached the lock pad and as Alex threw a glance at it, Birkhoff finished the decryption and the key pad opened. The two women slid inside the room and closed behind them. Birkhoff changed cameras and brought up the ones from the testing room. He screwed up his eyes while looking at the blurry image of the screen. There was in the middle of the room, a glowing blue round reactor, turning really fast.

"Is that it?" Alex asked.

"I guess so. Looks strange though." Nikita answered, walking up to the thing.

"I would advise you to not touch that." Alex said with a warning voice. "We don't know what it does." She was about to join Nikita in the observation of the Arch Reactor when she heard a gunshot. She ducked and turned to face the door. She saw, in the slight opening of the panel, a smg muzzle. Alex jumped on the side and took cover behind a control panel. "DIVISION!" She yelled for Nikita who was taking cover at the other side of the room. She took out her desert eagle out from her right boot and started shooting at the entering agents. She shot two of them and had to reload. She grabbed a magazine from the side of her jacket and pushed it in the gun. She fired a few more shot before the silence fell in the room again. Nikita motioned at Alex to not move while she was going to check if there were any Division Agent left. Alex exhaled before peeking at the side of the control panel. On the floor were laying, motionless, 6 bodies of former agents.

"Wait, 6? Swat teams are always 10. Where's the rest?" She thought out loud to herself. Alex grabbed the control panel with one hand to help her back up and aimed her gun in from of her. She walked slowly to the laboratory door and carefully walked out of the white room. Before totally closing the door, she shot the control panel a few times and closed the door. She waited a few second before she heard an explosion. The Arch Reactor was destroyed. Now, the only thing standing between her and the house, and Birkhoff, were those agents. She walked slowly through the corridors, following some faint sounds of fights. She arrived in front of another white door. She listened for a minutes before recognizing Nikita's scream. She rolled her shoulders, no one was hurting her mentor without her approval, and busted in the room. She analyzed the situation in a second and took cover behind a shelf.

"Alex?" She heard in her ear. As she heard his voice, her heart instantly calmed down, and she could think strait.

"Yes." She answered, wondering what Birkhoff was going to tell her.

"We need to talk." He said after a silence.

"About what?" Alex asked, now really worried.

"I'm so sorry. I never should have tried to kiss you. I mean, we were so good friends before and, now, we're not even talking anymore." Birkhoff started to explain.

"We are talking now Birkhoff." Alex interrupted him.

"Alex… Please, hear me out. I am truly sorry. I should have known you didn't want that. Just, can we just go back to being friends, like before?" He said, with a little voice. Alex had to retain herself from shouting that she didn't want to go back to how they were before. She wanted to go ahead. Where ever it may lead them, she wanted to discover what would have happened if she had kissed him. What if it was what she was secretly missing all this time? Nikita was right; "What If" was the most dangerous question ever. Alex closed her eyes a moment, forgetting about where she was, what she needed to do, everything around her.

"Alex? Please, just… Don't give me the silent treatment. Just… don't." Birkhoff pleaded in her ear. A bullet ricocheted next to her ear, bringing her back to reality. She threw a glance between the volumes and saw one agent coming closer.

"Not really the moment Birkhoff, we'll talk later." She answered as she got up and shot the agent through the books in the shelf. "One down, three to go." she thought. She rolled to her next cover and shot another agent in the kneecap. Nikita finished him by pushing him in the jaw. They exchanged a look and smiled at each other, before going back to fighting the other men.

Countless punches and gunshots later, the three agents were down, and Nikita and Alex were casually walking out he building, mission accomplished. Division was stopped, the Arch reactor was destroyed, and Nikita had all the files that would allow anyone to recreate it. Alex had totally forgot about Sean Pierce…

* * *

_Back at the Beach Mansion._

"Good job Alex." Congratulated Michael as he hugged Alex as thanks to saving Nikita's life. The two love birds held hands, and walked out of the house. Alex and Birkhoff were left alone. The engineer swallowed his saliva and gasped. What was going to happen next? He scratched his forehead out of discomfort and walked up to the young woman.

"So?" He asked, scared of the answer.

Alex didn't answer, and they just stared at each other, lost in the other's eyes. Alex bit her lip unconsciously, and Birkhoff spotted it. He toned down a giggle and grabbed Alex at the waist; brought her closer to his body continuously looking at her eyes. Alex batted her eyes to calm her rushing heartbeat and opened her lips to say something. But her throat was dry. She couldn't say a thing, and all her body was telling her was to kiss the man. She leaned forward, and closed her eyes. Their lip touched and the feeling they chaired was the most powerful they had ever felt. Birkhoff closed his hand in the back of the young woman as Alex's fingers were creating path through the man's hair. Their connected in a way they thought they'd would never do and it felt good. Their body pressing against each other, and their tongue mixing together.

* * *

**Mamamiaaaaaa, i love this chapter so muchhhhh I hope you did too :D**

**All reviews are awesome, thanks for all that have reviewed so far, you are all adorable and i am extremely happy you like this story as much as i like writing it ;D**


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